A Melody Softly Soaring Through My Atmosphere

Ok, so I guess this may come out as a bit of a rant, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently, so you…have been warned.

I just skimmed through one of Yahoo’s articles, which was entitled “How to Get Him to Listen.”  These kinda things normally pop up with dating advice or dieting tips or something that might just be of interest.  I like to read them over, see if it makes sense or not.  But this article, really made me feel frustrated with how our culture is.  The basic gist is, in order to get your man to listen, you should, ask him for help up front because then he is FORCED to listen to you or hide the interesting information in the middle so he’ll stay engaged or talk at a time that’s good for him or BEST YET wear something that might EXCITE him because then definitely he’s paying attention.  Really?  Honestly?  Is it too much to expect of a male to listen and be a human being?  Is it too much to expect of a female to actually ever say something interesting?  I hate stuff like this that makes it seem as if, um I don’t know, that men and women are from different planets, to use the cliche.  Why is it like that?  I mean, I recognize the fact that men and women are not the same, but honestly, this dumbing down communication crap, not necessary.  According to that suggestion, I should just always wear skanky clothes so that I’ll be listened to.  Maybe this is sounding very “feminist” but perhaps that’s because…I’m female.  Yeah, I want to be treated fairly by my sex and the opposite, which apparently is kinda radical.  However as a “feminist”, I also want people to expect more from men.  The way the world is painted sometimes is that women are flighty bitches who shop all the time or are always PMSing or are submissive doe-eyed simpletons.  In this stereotype men are just walking erect penises looking for sex or complete clueless cavemen.  Personally, I haven’t met anyone who fits into this, and I don’t think that it’s flattering for either sex.  I think men are completely capable or being sensitive, caring, and communicative, despite it not usually being nurtured in them.  I think women are also capable of being ambitious, assertive, and strong, without being bitches.  Is this too much to expect from our society?  To look at the person before the gender, to expect more from men than sex and more from women than bitchiness?  I know it’s different now than it was before, sexism isn’t quite as blatent, but it’s still there, and it doesn’t just affect me, as a young woman.  It affects everyone.  I’m not really sure how to fix it, I guess I’m just saying…it angers me.  I don’t like being taught that I have to be a certain way to attract men, or that I am not as worthy or worldly because I don’t have one right now.  I don’t like being told that only men are geniuses, but then also told that they would have a hard time using their mouths and vocal chords to make sounds that other people understand and call…TALKING, while women that were geniuses or tried to break sexual stereotypes are swept under the historic rug.  What kind of world is that?  Not really one that I wish to participate in.

</rambling>

This weekend has been pretty eventful for me in terms of…movies.  It’s true, I watched, Stranger than Fiction, Lady in the Water, and Apocalypto.  Why, Apocalypto you might ask?  Why this Mel Gibson flick that stirred so much controversy that I can’t even remember what it was about?  The answer my friends is, curiousity.  I think curiousity is a major motivating factor in my life, and so it drove me again, to watch this movie.  It…wasn’t too bad.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that I liked it, but it wasn’t as gross as I was expecting and the plot was kinda interesting.  It seemed to have some underlying racism and wasn’t really the picture of Mayas that I had in my mind, but maybe that was just me.  My real thoughts were, why did Mel make this movie and why did he add some scenes/sequences that were just unneccessarily bloody or violent.  That sort of thing doesn’t always bother me, like make me feel ill, but I just wonder, why do it?  With film/theatre there are so many ways to be more tasteful and just allude to violence instead of showing all the gore.  And they can be just as/if not more effective.  Did I need to see someone’s heart being cut out and shown to a roaring crowd?  Nope.

So the other movies!  haha, maybe I should start a movie review blog, I feel like this is what I usually write about.  Lady in the Water was good, up until the end…when I think it went a little too far with the craziness.  I watched some of the featurettes because I like seeing behind-the-scenes stuff, buuuut I don’t really like how M. Night Shyamalan just thinks that he’s hot shit.  I mean, theatre people are always kinda into themselves and into what they’re working on, but he just showed it so much in the making of stuff.  Boo.

Annnd Stranger that Fiction was good/kinda heartbreakingly cute at some points.  I think this one I would recommend for the family because it’s ironically funny and sweet.

So my main reason for writing though was that I am missing my two favorite weeks at Mary Washington.  Last week of classes and Exam week.  Why are they my faves(ok not really, but I like the stuff that happens besides being really stressed)?  Breakfast for dinner at the campus ministries!  At the end of last semester I went to two in row, one Baptist, one Catholic, and it was delicious.  Actually, I think last time I was at CCM, I stole Dunkaroos.  Oops.  Anyway, these weeks are when the food at school is actually not sickening, and you get to know everyone so much better, and if you don’t have last minute projects, you can take a breather and distract those who do. And during exam week, you study in Monroe for hours with your buddies.  If you get hungry, no problem!  Use the vending machine for something nourishing, you know, brain food like twinkies, milky ways, or those fruit pies.   I really just have such a fond memory of my last weeks at Mary Washington, maybe because…they were my last.  I talked to Sandra about it, last time we talked, and even though we’ve both left, we still feel like Mary Wash girls, deep down.  Technically, I’ll always be one.

So what is on the horizon? (I think Ma always says that, lol)  WELL.  Two more days of classes, then one exam this week.  Not quite the same amount of cramming and stressing.  Which I am A-Okay with.

Anyway, later dudes, I’m outtie.

It’s that time!  The time when I write a blog entry to procrastinate just a little bit.

First order of business, for the last entry, if you want to know the password, just let me know.  Someone lovely requested I make it more private, but I promise, it’s not an emo entry or anything.  Just ask, and I’ll tell you what the password is, haha.

This weekend has been nice/too fast because I got caught by some type of cold.  Which left me feeling, completely gross.  On the bright side though, Ma and I got in some quality shopping time for some cute clothes!  And we picked out some killer silver heels for the wedding :)  Also, Dad and I watched North by Northwest, which was a pretty interesting movie.  Another tally on Hitchcock movies I’ve seen!

On the agenda for finishing up this week IS:

Developmental Psychology test

Nutrition…everything!

Final English portfolio

Annnnd just preparing for finals in general.  I’ll be glad when it’s over.  It’s just exciting to think about summer, the wedding, and then starting nursing school.

I guess that’s all I really have to say today.  Sickness took away any hint of depth of thought, lol.

Today, I went on a bike ride, and maybe my expectations were too high, but it wasn’t as much fun as it used to be.  I don’t know.  When I rode my bike last year, it was how I got to know Fredville, and how I kinda made it my town.  I mean that’s really all I did last year, was wonder around the town, I had no idea where I was going, but it’s how I discovered so many little secrets about the surrounding suburbs.  Racing along the “canal” was my favorite part of the ride, and I would end up going like 25mph!  Now… for whatever reason it’s different.

What I was thinking about while I was biking was the fact that I’m not really hardcore about anything, besides…not being hardcore.  I’m really intense when it comes to not being intense.  Well, I mean, there are certainly things that I’m passionate about, or that I have been passionate about, but usually I meet someone with a lot more intensity.  It doesn’t bother me, it’s just an observation.

Hmmm.  I don’t really have much more to report.  Today is a pretty day, but a little too blustery for my taste.  Could the air just stand still please!?

LOVE

I haven’t left the house today, and I just realized that.  Honestly, that’s ok.  I’ve been studying for social problems and developmental psychology, and just reflecting on what was going on in my life around this time last year, the year before that, and on and on.  Sometimes I really do just let myself reflect too much.  There aren’t any what if’s about life.  This is how it is because either you chose it or life chose it.  And for right now, I’m not complaining, haha.

Yesterday was my nursing orientation, which was somewhat informative and a little bit of review.  It was interesting to see the people that are going to be in my classes, and yes, they are mostly girls.  Which is fine, definitely expected that.  Was MAYBE hoping for more than 3 guys, but what are you gonna do?  I’m not going to be sexist about it.  Anyway, the school of nursing building is beautiful.  Absolutely gorgeous because it’s new and I feel so lucky to get to take classes there.  Ma and I ended up talking to a girl from Tangier and my friend from nutrition class afterwards, which was nice.  I’m looking forward to getting to meet all the other nursing students in my class, and maybe my opinion of some of them that I already know and don’t like that much, maybe they’ll change my mind.

After that Ma and I got lunch from Panera!  Yum. :)  I wish that I liked soup more because then I would so get the bread bowl…maybe if there’s a really good flavor next time.

I had gotten a text in the morning that Meredith would be in town to see the film festival, so we arranged to meet up and have ice cream.  It was so surreal to have her in Richmond, but then…it still felt kinda normal.  Shama’s the only person I’ve really brought home, so to speak, but maybe because it was always planned more ahead it wasn’t as surreal? Who knows, it was nice to see a MW face.  I still slip up saying that it’s my school!  I guess it’ll be like that for a while…  I miss my Ball girls , BUT I’m going to visit soon.

Since I’ve been a blog slacker, I haven’t gotten to really write about this yet, even though I’ve talked to a lot of people about it, lol.  The movie, Hard Candy!  starring Ellen Page from Juno.  Because of Juno, I decided to look through other movies that she’s been in, and found Hard Candy, and a bunch of other movies that are supposed to come out later this year.  I think that Juno and Xmen the Last Stand are the least depressing.  Hard Candy is really intense, but I thought the acting was so good, that it was worth watching for me.  The other movies coming out, The Tracey Fragments, and An American Crime, look if possible even more intense.  An American Crime is about the murder of a girl in Indiana in the 1960s.  Ring any bells?  She was being looked after by another family while her parents were away working, and she was tortured and beaten and eventually killed.  I think I may skip seeing that movie…just for the sake of remaining happy, lol.

But yeah, that’s basically been my week, watching hard candy, hanging out with some people who were on spring break and some people from school.  All in all a good week, and I’m excited about getting through the next one!  Woo!

LOVE, Alpal

Right now, I’m sitting at school with my iPod, laptop, and cellphone.  I’m a technological whore.  I have emailed, IMed, texted, and been blasting music in headphones…and had absolutely no human interaction.  Why is it acceptable to do this?  I mean seriously, you get a weird look sometimes if you talk to strangers or just for looking at people you don’t know in general.  There are so many people my age that are just plugged in.  And I’m SUCH a culprit of this.  What I usually do during my break is just read and listen to music, or sometimes my friend Jaret and I text because we’re both awake, and….it just started somehow.  So during the hour that I have off, I’m completely in my own world.  Honestly though, I think it’s a little early for college students to be friendly anyway, haha.

This morning in my Social Problems class, we had group work, as always, and my group consisted of  a friend that I like to work with, and two people who I always sit near, but we never got around to working together.  We were discussing capitalism and democracy and the two people I hadn’t worked with got real fired up.  It’s funny to me the things that people decide is worth debating.  I mean, if I’m in a certain mood, then I like to just disagree with people, especially if everyone in the class agrees on something.  But these people were more dedicated than would be expected?  It was just funny for me, and I think it was funny for my friend too.  I like it when she’s in my group because she’s so friendly and doesn’t judge anyone, like even if someone makes a really crazy comment she just takes it in stride tries to understand what they’re saying.  I really admire that, and wish that I was better at it.

This weekend my parents and I went up to good ole DE to visit my grandparents, and it was good to visit them after not having seen them in so long.  It was kinda weird though, when we were getting there I  half expected us to go to their old house.  Haha, I was kinda confused when we weren’t turning where we usually do.  Their new place is nice though, with some of the same paintings it feels like their home.

I’m excited about this upcoming week.  The only thing that is really “worrisome” is my American History test, otherwise I’m getting to see people on Spring Break and I don’t know I just feel good today!

Mmmm I should’ve brought a snack today, I’m feeling a bit peckish.  Maybe I’ll buy a cookie or something.  I suppose that’s all for now

I…don’t want to have my iPod fixed.  It’s messed up, and yet for some reason I get a little enjoyment out of trying to work out it’s quirks and kinda use it like a blind person.  The thing is, most of the time…the screen doesn’t work.  The music still works, but I can’t see what song is playing or very effectively navigate to listen to other music…yet.  I’ve actually gotten a lot better at using it.  What I usually do is just put it on shuffle, and skip through songs or I try to find the “recently played” playlist because that always has some good stuff.  But yesterday when I was writing I needed Brandi Carlile because Shama had said that that was all she would listen to, and I thought it would put me in the right mood.  This was a difficult navigation, and I’m weirdly proud of myself for managing it.  How I did it was….I made sure that it was on the main menu, and set to music, then I went to artist, annnnd slowly made my way down the alphabet to B, and then Brandi Carlile.  And even though this sounds like the obvious procedure and that it would be pretty simple…mmm it wasn’t.  Sometimes my iPod has a pause before the music starts, and I would over anticipate and push the play button too many times or something like that.  It was worth the struggle though, I was very productive listening to Brandi.

Haha, that might not have been the most interesting anecdote.  Anyway, for the past two days pretty much all that’s been on my mind is the monster paper for English 200.  I eat, sleep, breath, bleed, and pee this paper.  I’m not gonna lie, I really want to kinda show off to the people in my class, be like yeah, I’m hot shit.  But with a rough draft, that’s kinda hard, especially since…I’m not as confident in my writing abilities as I used to be.  My goal is to finish it and then edit it the best I can before I go to bed, however, it is very likely that I will be too tired to edit it, and so will submit to just finishing it and going to bed.

Today in Nutrition, we watched a movie about a girl who survived a drunk driving car accident and was burned a LOT.  She was from Venezuela and was on Oprah, anyone heard of her?  It was really a downer to watch that so early in the morning.  Seriously, every time that alcohol is talked about in school, those are the sort of things we watch.  Not fun?

NEED TO FINISH THE PAPER….

OK I guess it’s time for a confession.  Or… a couple.  Ever since I stopped working at Haagen Dazs, I think my ice cream consumption has increased EXPONENTIALLY.  Why?  Because now it costs money and isn’t readily available?  I don’t know, but it’s kind of annoying.  The only times I would really sample the ice cream was if I was like REALLY hungry or curious about a certain flavor that a lot of people had tried.  And now that I’m not around it all the time, I would like to be?  Maybe then my cravings would go away, lol.  My other confession for today is that I really like the Sound of Music.  This is not related to ice cream, but I suppose would go under the category of “guilty pleasure.” What a strange guilty pleasure?  Out of all the movies I’ve seen or that are out there, I really like Sound of Music, how weird is that?  I know all the songs and I know exactly what’s going to happen, but it gets me every time!  I think someday I’m going to try to see it on stage, even though it won’t have Julie Andrews.  I think I had a third confession…Oh well.

Today…I got the Juno soundtrack, which I feel was a good investment, despite not being in love with ALL the songs.  I think if I had more time or…more interest, I would delve into obscure music to find bands that I could like that other people don’t.  In high school that’s what I really wanted, but I didn’t know how to go about looking for music that very few people had heard of, haha.  And now I’m too lazy, slash do not feel as exclusive about music.  One of the artists I listen to the most is KT Tunstall, and I mean, like everyone has heard of her.  I used to love that no one had heard of Postal Service, and it kinda bummed me out at first when they became more popular, BUT I mean, they have to have more than just me realize how awesome they are in order for them to make more money and eventually…another album.

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body’s swinging from side to side
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can’t, you forgive me?
I don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

-the moldy peaches 

Did you ever notice that there is a BIG difference between winter rain and summer rain?  Summer and spring rain maybe I should say.   Well, there’s definitely a difference.  Winter rain is the reminder to stay inside, to curl up with a book and cocoa, annnd possibly be a little bitter that it isn’t snowing.  Whereas summer and spring rains are reminders that plants need water to live and that people need puddles to jump in and showers to dance in.  Tonight, Ryan and I had to walk my dog in the rain, but I honestly didn’t mind.  I felt like I was thawing out from the winter, and that felt…good.

Today was an interesting day, where Memaw, Ma, and I went to shop for scrubs.  It was kinda surreal to look around the store at all the different scrubs and picture the people behind them, and to think about the fact that I will soon be one of those people.  I’m really excited about getting to that point, even though right now I don’t really see an end to school in sight, haha.  Buuuut I’ll get there when I get there.

So my spring break is coming to a close.  I really enjoyed relaxing and honestly not worrying about school work.  Unfortunately, tomorrow I need to hit the ground running to get back in studying mode.  Luckily, it’s downhill from…well, maybe a couple weeks from now.

I wish I could do an independent study of film or something.  Like have a certain time set aside every day to watch great films or bad movies and then possibly have a discussion about it.  Maybe I should start like a movie club, instead of a book club, but we wouldn’t watch the movies together.  Most movies that are supposed to be you know, best of the best or whatever, I don’t like watching with other people.   Who you watch a movie with influences so much about what you think.  Or if you watch movies with good friends, then you end up talking through the movie anyway, so it’s kinda pointless. Usually when I watch something with other people, I get so distracted thinking about what they could be thinking or if they’re breathing really loudly.  This semester, I’ve been catching up a lot on my movie watching, which is good, I need to think of what’s on my “to watch” list now.  Any suggestions?

Later loves!